He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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