i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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