Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
