no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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