You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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