The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
