p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't deserve a penis
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
