The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
