Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
