We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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