I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
