This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I got inside last night via doggy door
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
