Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
