Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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