I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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