This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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