I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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