I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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