Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
