saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
