So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
