i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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