I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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