i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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