His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
