i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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