my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
