Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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