I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
