Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
