yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
