Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
