how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
