I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
