I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
