Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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