when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
