Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
