Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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