kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
