The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
