just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
