i just google imaged poop.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
