C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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