and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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