i don't like sucking hair
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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