I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
