Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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