it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
