I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
