honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
