one might say we're banned from that church
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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