I wannas sexs uuuuu
we're making bets on your personal life
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how drunk are you?
Several
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
